10.) Pollo Sarandeado Estila “Tia Esther” from Lindo Michoacán

Don’t go to Lindo Michoacán expecting a Rick Bayless-esque Fine Mexican Dining experience.  Lindo Michoacán is more of a Mama-Making-the-Tortillas restaurant, and that’s why I love it. Just good, down home Mexican food.  As most gringos such as myself will just call the Pollo Sarandeado here the “Chicken Tia Esther,” in my opinion, it is the best thing on the menu. Both rich and flavorful, this pounded thin chicken breast in a mayonnaisey spicy dried chile sauce will make you sing with the live Mariachi band that goes from table to table.  Also one of my favorites that comes with this and every entree at Lindo Michoacán is the simple and incredibly satisfying Fideo Soup, which if given the opportunity, I would eat a few gallons of at each sitting.

9.) Lobster Fra Diavolo from Stratta

While the Fra Diavolo sauce was ok, and the pasta itself kind of “meh,” the exquisitely perfect lobster was more than enough to give this dish the needed boost to make it to this list.  Located at Wynn Las Vegas, Stratta is Chef Alessandro Stratta’s more casual restaurant offering, with Alex being his James Beard Award winning, Mobil 5-Star rated, Michelin 2-Star earning war horse, also located at the Wynn.  A perfect lobster that was perfectly prepared, it was almost a shame it was amongst such uninspired pasta.  It could have also been that such a magnificent ingredient made everything else around it pale in comparison, but in any event, it was still good enough to make this list in a year of some excellent eats.

8.) Lunch Buffet at Namaste Indian Cuisine

Just like in the 10 Worst List, price is also in consideration when putting this list together. With that said, I can’t imagine spending a better $8.95 than the Lunch Buffet at Namaste.  Located in one of the more skeezy parts of town at the Commercial Center on Sahara, right next door to Lotus of Siam, holds one of the best kept secrets in the entire town.  The service is bad as you’ll probably have to wait about 3 years to get your check, but no matter at the buffet.  Featuring some of the greatest hits from Northern India such as Butter Chicken, Chicken or Lamb Curry, Chicken Tikka Masala and a delicious Green Tandoori Chicken, the food is outstanding and almost unbelievable at the $8.95 price.  I have to give special thanks to local food guru John Curtas at http://www.eatinglv.com for hipping me to this gem. Also, you can follow John on Twitter at @eatinglasvegas. Namaste is on Twitter too at @NamasteLasVegas, but they never use it.

7.) Beef Wellington from Chef’s Palate

I am a self-admitted puff pastry slut.  I’ve been known to do ethically questionable things to get me some puff pastry. Wrap it around some beautifully executed beef tenderloin and I will commit heinous acts to get at it.  Luckily, all I have to do is fork over a modest chunk of my paycheck at Chef’s Palate to get some.  Chef Rex George brings his experiences cooking in the Napa Valley and Lake Las Vegas to an establishment of his own on Eastern on the way to Anthem.  Flavorful and tender, this Beef Wellington is of the best I’ve had. The cocktails are also quite good at Chef’s Palate, featuring homemade syrups, liqueurs and sour mixes.  Try a sweet and fruity Snozzberry, you won’t regret it.

6.) Curry Beef Bites from Fado Irish Pub

The grand injustice of the Curry Beef Bites from Fado is that they are not on the regular menu, just on the Happy Hour menu.  The best way that I can describe the Curry Beef Bites is that it is a perfect bite of food. Everything you want in flavor and texture is contained in each of these little bites.  The savory spice of the braised curried beef versus the sweet crunch of the red onion confit brought all together with the smooth richness of the potato boxty and drizzle of sour cream, it is truly the perfect bite.

5.) Scallop Vindaloo prepared by Chef Kuldeep Singh

A little while ago, our local Whole Foods Market hosted the 1st Annual Whole Foods Market Quickfire Challenge featuring local culinary masters. Competing in this event was Chef René Lenger of Switch at Encore, Chef Jet Tila of Wazuzu at Encore, Chef Jean-Paul Labadie of Marche Bacchus (eventual winner), Chef Bianca Freeny of Whole Foods Markets and Chef Kuldeep Singh of Origin India.  Each chef was given a protein to use at random, with the idea being they needed to prepare something with that protein that would pair well with one of the new Quickfire Wines that Top Chef is promoting.  Given an absolutely stunning collection of scallops by Whole Foods, Chef Singh prepared a masterful Vindaloo that had just the perfect amount of spice and boldness to let you know it was a Vindaloo, yet not too much to overpower the extraordinarily fine scallop.  After the chefs gave their offerings to the judges, the extras were handed out to the hungry onlookers, and Kerry and I were lucky enough to have a taste. You can follow Las Vegas area Whole Foods Markets at @WFMLasVegas.

4.) Walnut Shrimp from First Food and Bar

First Food and Bar has quickly become one of my favorite late night noshes in Las Vegas.  First Food and Bar combines a twisted bar food concept with a tapas concept by presenting small plates of well-prepared, good-ingredient bar food standards with a twist. A menu that features items, like Philly Cheesesteak Dumplings, Chicken Parmesan Stuffed Garlic Knots, and Pastrami Reuben Tacos , Chef Sammy DeMarco presents great flavors through great ideas.  The Walnut Shrimp stand out among my “Must Have Every Time I Go” list.  The Walnut Shrimp; shrimp with walnuts in a sweet honey based sauce with a touch of mayo, are incredibly addictive. You can follow First Food and Bar on Twitter at @FirstFoodandBar.

3.) “Piggyback” Burger from Society Café Encore

The Society Café Encore at the Encore resort headed by Chef Kim Canteenwalla was named by Esquire Magazine as one of 2009′s Best New Restaurants, and for good reason. It’s tasty.  The Mac & Cheese Bites with Truffle Dipping Sauce are a must have appetizer, but there is a relatively new addition to their menu in the “Piggyback” Burger that is a game changer.  The “Piggyback” is a triumph in all that is Burgerdom. A deliciously seasoned ground beef of good quality, Andouille sausage, caramelized onion, 1000 Island dressing and a tasty BBQ sauce, this burger makes you think the only way to ever have a burger again is to put a piece of Andouille on it.  You can follow the Society Café Encore on Twitter at @societycafe.

2.) Double Cut Kurobuta Pork Chop from Switch

This was the best piece of pig I have ever eaten in my life. Sadly, this was a special and is not on the main menu, but Chef René Lenger out did himself with this PERFECTLY prepared piece of piggy.  Kurobuta is often regarded as the Kobe of pigs, and this fine example proved exactly that. But as we know, it’s not just premium ingredients that make for a memorable meal, they have to be cooked well too.  So often I’ve had a double cut pork chop that was either too rare in the middle or like pork jerky on the outside, but this was exquisite from inside to out.  With the perfect evenness, it leads me to believe the chop was at least partially cooked sous vide.  Combine the wonderful chop with a jawdroppingly good demi glace, this was one of the more memorable meals I’ve ever had.

Tied – 1.) Freshwater Jumbo Prawns with Grilled Artichoke Hearts and New Potatoes from Table 34

Table 34 is one of my favorite places to eat in town, and it doesn’t even need a multi-million dollar Las Vegas Strip location with a celebrity chef’s name plastered on the door to be so.  Chef Wes Kendrick of Table 34 has mastered the two most important aspects to cooking; buy high quality, seasonal groceries and prepare those groceries well.  Chef Kendrick has mastered showcasing his food in a simple sophistication that allows us to truly experience the essence of each ingredient.  While I’m a fan of his work, such as his extraordinary Duck Confit Quesadilla with Spicy Blackberry Syrah Coulis that makes your heart sing and a Lime Tart with Lemon Curd that is of the best I’ve ever had, there was one plate of food this year that was leaps and bounds beyond everything; Freshwater Jumbo Prawns with Grilled Artichoke Hearts and New Potatoes.  This dish embodied everything that Table 34 and Chef Kendrick is all about, taking advantage of superior available ingredients and preparing them flawlessly.  The flavor of the prawns were perfectly highlighted with the exact amount of lemon and salt they needed and the masterful preparation provided such a tender, practically silky texture rarely found in prawns of this size.  The charred artichoke hearts and seasonal new potatoes provided an excellent compliment, although could stand alone in their own light all the same.  It was one of those meals that I’ll come back to in not just reflecting on 2009, but for many years to come.

Tied – 1.)  Everything from Julian Serrano

Ok, so we didn’t eat “everything” at Chef Julian Serrano’s brand spanking new, self-titled tapas restaurant at the also brand spanking new Aria resort, but we damn sure came close.  After a 3 hour orgy of gluttony and 12 dishes later, I can safely say that there are no weak spots in Chef Serrano’s offering of the very best of Spain.  The Michelin 2-starred, multi-award winning renowned chef ascended to culinary legend with his restaurant Picasso at the Bellagio.  Chef Serrano offers both traditional and some non-traditional Spanish tapas and paella at his new restaurant.  Here at Julian Serrano you can have a simple chorizo dish right next to a molecular gastronomic reconstruction of a raspberry.  The Red Sangria has a depth of flavor I haven’t found before with the unique (to me at least) use of bay leaf and cinnamon.

I want to say there were highlights within the 12 plates we had, but they were all extraordinary in their own right. The Coca Chorizo hit all of my happy places with chorizo, puff pastry, caramelized onion and piquillo peppers. The Huevos Estrallados introduced me to the breakfast I want to eat everyday for the rest of my life with egg, fried potatoes and chorizo. The Beef and Cheese, which is a baby tenderloin, brie cheese with this sweet walnut sauce on toast made my eyes roll back in my head.  What might have been the biggest surprise were the Traditional Spanish Chicken Croquetas which in my opinion were far from traditional.  Kerry best described them as “deep fried chicken soup.”  Think about the most flavorful chicken soup you’ve ever had, condense it and then deep fry it in a way were you get a crispy outside and a silky inside and there you have it.  Extraordinarily delicious.  Also, with prices hovering around the not too wallet busting $10 per plate, I’m confident that we’ll be frequenting Julian Serrano quite a bit in 2010 and the many years that follow.

Upon approaching and first entering CityCenter’s campus, it’s simply jaw dropping.  The collection of architectural marvels is undeniably breathtaking.  One of the things I first took note of is that you can’t truly appreciate the intricate angles of each unique building until you’re right on top of them.  The beautiful curves of Aria with the clean edges of Mandarin Oriental as well of the leaning precision of Veer versus the angular free-for-all of Crystals gives the eye a spectacular feast. Truly beautiful buildings.  Then you go inside them……

We parked at the Crystals valet, as it more or less serves as a central point to explore the whole 67 acres.  Walking into Crystals for the first time, I wondered if I took a wrong turn and walked into a hospital.  Granted, it is difficult to judge Crystals as it appears to be less than half occupied…but they’re the ones that still opened the doors so judgments will come.  It’s rather ugly on the inside.  White walls everywhere with funky angles jutting out at will.  I would have to think that once the solid white walls are replaced with colorful storefronts, the overall impression will change a great deal, but right now it’s pretty brutal.

One of the big features being lauded about CityCenter is the collection of public art displays throughout the six buildings and connecting outdoor spaces.  Crystals has both a Water Tornado thing featured, as well as a melting Glacier display.  Both are brilliant concepts that were both very poorly executed.  The Water Tornado thing had condensation collecting in some of the tubes and just generally looked cheap.  The Glacier thing was something that could have been beautiful but just looked like an ugly collection of ice sticks. The infinity-edged pool that the melted water collected in was also poorly designed as water would spill over in different spots requiring a Resident Mopper to continually walk around the exhibit.

Crystals uses a touchscreen interactive system for their directory. It sucks. Not very user friendly and just confusing to understand, mostly due to the asymmetry both vertically and horizontally in the mall. Using a system more designed for a typical box shaped mall won’t work in the Christopher Reeve-esque Fortress of Solitude.  Definitely still a work in progress, I question the decision of opening Crystals.  Veer is scheduled to first open in mid-January and the epic FAIL that is The Harmon is scheduled to open in late 2010.  I don’t know if the face saved by opening Crystals on time was worth the face lost by opening a half empty, cheap looking mall.  Only time will tell.

It was then off to Aria, which is considered as the centerpiece of CityCenter. A nice fountain in the Porte Cochere with some magnificent waterfall walls lining the entrance, my hopes were high.  Then we went inside.

Hands down, Aria has the ugliest lobby of any hotel built in Las Vegas since the Tropicana.  Think decent airport. Hardly something you’d want to see in a higher end hotel.  Big beams, no attention to detail and a clusterfuck of partitions in some possible last-minute thrown together Feng Shui fix, it is just ugly.  The casino floor looks as if the M Resort and Red Rock Station threw up their leftovers.  Grimly dark and overtly cheaply masculine, one has to wonder where the hell the name “Aria” comes from.

We were hungry so we decided to get some lunch.  We went to Aria’s cafe which is called Cafe Vettro.  Obviously not expecting much from a casino cafe, but this would be the worst casino cafe I’ve been in, and I think I’ve been in them all.  Relatively small menu and heinously overpriced ($18 for a Cheeseburger made from Angus beef), we decided to pick up and leave after not even getting a drink order in after 10 minutes of being seated.

We walked over to Vdara, the condo-hotel of CityCenter. Vdara is non-gaming and I believe non-smoking, an obvious rarity on the Las Vegas Strip. We decided to give Vdara’s restaurant, Silk Road, a chance.  The decor of Silk Road seems to be inspired by the thought of Austin Powers having an epileptic fit.  It makes the set of Laugh In look like Masterpiece Theatre.  Hideous. But…..the food was excellent.  I had the Spice Rubbed Kobe Flat Iron Steak ($20, take THAT Cafe Vettro) and it was magnificently flavorful. I would be happy to risk temporary blindness / insanity from the flamboyant decor again for how tasty the piece of meat was.

That 60′s kitsch seemed to infect other parts of Vdara as well, especially with the artwork hanging behind the Check-In Counter. Vdara seems to be like the asshole that thinks everything vintage is automatically cool.  Oh well….at least the food is good.

There is a walkway that connects Vdara to the Bellagio as well as the free monorail tram system that connects Bellagio, CityCenter and the Monte Carlo.  Again, the attention to details that other high end resorts would have never missed were eyesores, such as the visible ductwork on the way to the Bellagio.  At least they put a potted plant in front of it though, that makes a world of difference.  After being whisked away back to Crystals, we went back into Aria.

We made reservations at one of the primary reasons for my excitement towards this $8.5 Billion behemoth opening up; Julian Serrano’s self-titled tapas restaurant.  With a few hours to kill, we went to the View Bar, which is a bar that has a view of the previously discussed ugly lobby.  I was excited to see they had New Belgium’s 1554 Black Ale on the bottles list, but then disappointed when I was told they didn’t have it.  I wound up getting the Black Butte Porter by Deschutes, and that made up for it.  The cocktail waitress uniforms were rather hideous as well.  Kind of a cheap, awkward version of the uniforms at the Wynn. However, what was inside the uniforms was rather nice, so at the end of the day, who gives a shit about the uniforms.

After a few rounds we still had time to kill, so we went exploring the rest of Aria.  As stated before, the casino floor is remarkably dark, which was confusing as I recall the gaming space being flooded with natural light being touted by the MGM Mirage fluffers.  Maybe they meant that there was only natural light simply due to the lack of artificial light…I don’t know.   The smell of Aria was quite nice, sort of like a chocolaty burnt sugar.  I don’t know if it was a smell that was being pumped in, or if it was the treats from Jean-Philippe Maury’s Patisserie permeating throughout the space. Either way, it is hands down the best casino smell in town.

Walking around Aria found more awkward spaces with little-to-no detail. However, in this collection of interior design mediocrity lie some apparently magnificent restaurants. Shawn McClain’s first Vegas venture in his restaurant Sage, Sirio Maccioni has an Italian Bistro called Ristorante, Michael Mina opens a seafood extravaganza in American Fish (Lobster Wellington on the menu, HELLO!!!) and Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s Steakhouse, which I was told was a “gorgeous restaurant” where a “brilliant dinner” was had by one of my favorite Entertainment / Foodie Gurus in town, Robin Leach.  Of course, there is also Julian Serrano, which we were still an hour away from our reservation. We decided we had it with the walking around. The new plan was to sit at the bar and drink Sangria until it’s time to eat.

Our dinner at Julian Serrano was one of those epic experiences that makes me kiss the ground and thank some imaginary fairy tale that we live in Las Vegas.  We sat at the bar and got a pitcher of the Red Sangria.  It was delicious. One of the smoothest, most flavorful sangrias I’ve had.  The layers of flavor in the sangria were deep with the unique addition of bay leaf and cinnamon.  After a pitcher down the gullet, we decided to start our food journey, which wound up being 12 different plates of delicious.  The flavors were all spot on and the craftsmanship on some of the platings and the knifework was just a level above and beyond.  With this being opening weekend, Chef Julian Serrano was in the house, taking time away from his legendary flagship, Picasso, at the Bellagio.

Everything was good. We had 12 plates of food and I can’t pick a favorite.  The first bite we had was the Pan Manchego which is a simple toast with a fresh tomato sauce and a thin slice of 1 year aged Manchego cheese on top with a drizzle of olive oil.  It was so simple and so spectacular. Bursting with flavor, like the Sangria, it was complexity through simplicity. Other notables was the Pinxto de Chorizos which was Cocktail Weenie sized pieces of Chorizo over a bed of Garlic Mashed Potatoes, the Coca Chorizo which was Pastry Dough covered with Caramelized Onion, Piquillo Peppers, Chorizo and Goat Cheese and the Traditional Spanish Chicken Croquetas which Kerry aptly described as “deep fried Chicken Soup”.  If there was a “weak” spot, I guess I would say it was in the desserts, but that’s like trying to describe the worst part of an orgasm.  Fat, happy, fulfilled and perfectly satisfied, we decided to head home before the inevitable food coma fully set in.

Our first visit to the urban monstrosity left me with conflicted feelings toward CityCenter.  The majesty of the exterior is greatly let down by the half-assed interior.  It is laced with extraordinary restaurants, yet has no real other draw to go there.  They label CityCenter as a cultural mecca, yet not one single live musician was heard in our nearly 8 hours of being there.  We shall see how the “Savior of Las Vegas” develops as the economy heals and time allows some mistakes to be corrected, but right now the judgment is greatly mixed.  As it stands right now, I would say it is a shitty version of Wynncore.  Certainly nothing unique and nothing groundbreaking outside the architecture no matter how much the good PR folks at MGM Mirage want to fluff us.  It’s worth a drive across town to see, but certainly not a flight from far away, and that is what Las Vegas needs right now.

10.) Woo at The Palazzo

As it is well known throughout the world, I am not a big fan of Asian cuisine.  It needs to be nearly impeccable for me to say I like it.  I had big expectations from Woo due to the hype of the local favorite, Mayflower Cuisinier, of which Chef Ming See Woo made the rare crossover from local foodie hero to culinary tourist trap on The Strip.  The meal was terrible.  Grossly overpriced miniscule portions with temperatures all over the place due to an apparent epic fail in coordinating the meal back in the kitchen.  It was so poor that I took the initiative to change the name of the restaurant to Boo.

9.) Todd’s Unique Dining

Todd’s Unique Dining may have been aptly named back in the 80′s, but Asian / Pacific / American Fusion has had its day in the sun and is now in a quiet retirement village in Boca.  There’s nothing “unique” anymore about dumping teriyaki sauce on meatloaf.  However, the “unique” fail is not the only reason this made the list.  Painfully bland food at prices higher than Applebee’s helps it a great deal.

8.) Memphis Championship Barbeque

I can’t understand how people like this place.  The meat is dry and tough and the sauce tastes like rotten balls.  Good barbeque is a tough find in Vegas, but Memphis takes the prize of being the worst.  Memphis Championship Barbeque is so bad that it makes me even more excited when McDonald’s brings back the McRib.

7.) Cathouse at Luxor

I made the big mistake of ordering a steak at a place that isn’t a steakhouse in Las Vegas. So that’s my bad. But…it still doesn’t excuse not being able to cook a piece of meat.  In the Bordello-themed tourist trap by Kerry Simon, I first ordered a NY Strip cooked Medium, to which the first presentation came in the form of a burned boot. I sent back the grossly overcooked piece of meat only to get back one that was seemingly only warmed up by the cow’s final fart.  Practically cold to the touch, I sent back the now undercooked piece of meat to receive something overcooked, but at least in the ballpark of Medium.

6.) Panevino Ristorante

Another place I had high hopes for based on people’s suggestions.  It was awful.  It made Olive Garden seem like a Mario Batali restaurant.  Horrifically overcooked pasta with prices that made your eyeballs pop out of your head.  I actually blame Glenn and David at The Pasta Shop for this culinary travesty.  Kerry and I intended to go to their rock solid establishment only to find they were closed to the public due to a private party that was booked.  We went to Panevino on a whim and the rest as they say, is Ragu history.

5.) The EDR at Mandalay Bay

Ok, I probably shouldn’t bitch about free food…but if you were to bitch about free food, the Employee Dining Room at Mandalay Bay gives you just cause to do so.  The running joke is “what deep-fried animal bits will be featured today?”, and it is usually a toss up from a disrespected pig or a disrespected chicken.  Beyond the deep-fried animal bits, the EDR chefs can make just about anything into a “Stratta” (whatever the hell that is) or offer up heinously processed mass-produced animal type substances that would give the strongest of colons a run for their money.  However, the cookies with dried cranberries and white chocolate are a hit.  Unfortunately, the month old Sugar Cookies found next to them are not, although make a great puck for a pickup game of Table Hockey.

4.) Circus Circus Steakhouse

What may be the ultimate in disappointments this year was finally going to the Circus Circus Steakhouse.  Boasting 20 some odd years of “Best in Vegas,” we thought the Circus Circus Steakhouse was a surefire hit.  We were wrong.  We thought, “how could anything in the cesspool that is Circus Circus be any good?” We were right.  The open-air grill in the middle of the dining area gives you that pleasant feeling of being covered in smoke and animal fat.  The steaks themselves were just awful.  Not seasoned at all, which you can barely get away with when you have the finest cut of beef, let alone the ass of an abused cow from which our cuts were chosen from.  The sides were also shockingly unseasoned and just a big pile of “blah.”

3.) Eggs Benedict at Simon Sunday Brunch

Shockingly enough, Chef Kerry Simon makes a second appearance on this list, but this time at his self-named flagship restaurant at Palms Place.  I single out the Eggs Benedict because everything else with this meal was quite good.  The poached egg of the Benedict first came out like a water balloon.  You could tell by looking at it that it was bloated, and cutting into the poor chicken abortion confirmed that water got trapped in the poaching process.  Water flooded the plate.  I asked the server to take it back to which he said, “that’s how they are.”  I disagreed with the uninformed chap and told him to exchange the mess anyway.  A new Eggs Benedict arrived at the table with a cold, overcooked yolk.  Apparently Chef Simon needs to get his people to go back to both the Steak and the Eggs section of their Cooking For Dummies textbooks and get some education.

2.) Southwestern Chicken Wrap on Continental Airlines

This collection of chemicals can only be described as Instant Diarrhea.  When you bite into something, have no clue what the hell it is and realize you can’t fit into the sardine can sized toilet on your four hour flight, deep panic starts to set in.  Basically if you took a soft, chemically enhanced flour tortilla and stuffed it with uncooked rice, corn, cold processed chicken and a cup of Crisco mixed with Cholula, you would have the Southwestern Chicken Wrap on Continental Airlines.

1.) BJ’s Restaurant and Brewhouse

Behold what is not just the worst dining experience we’ve had this year, but quite possibly in the five years since moving to Las Vegas.  The in-house microbrews that have flavor ranges from Dirty Ass to Syrupy Ass was just the beginning of the comprehensive disaster that was our experience at BJ’s.  Clueless doesn’t even begin to describe the wait staff.  If you could capture the Road Construction experience of 20 people scratching their balls, watching 2 people do all the work in a restaurant, this would have been it.  In the efforts to minimize trips back and forth from the beverage station, our courageous server decided to put about 13 cups of water on one tray, which of course resulted in a tidalwave for us and the surrounding tables.  Once the food came, I wish it just went back.  First they brought out a completely wrong meal for me, but then when they “corrected” it, they brought out a burger so overdone that a piece of charcoal would have said, “Damn, that’s some dry ass shit.” Kerry’s meal won the prize, though.  She ordered a simple Chicken Salad, but was what presented was a bunch of unripened tomatoes, rotten lettuce and deep-fried chicken bits all put it in a blender.  The pieces of the salad were so small it was inedible with a fork. Kerry needed to scoop her Salad Confetti with a spoon, which was not worth consuming anyway.

Being announced today, although known for quite sometime, Garth Brooks will announce his headlining residency at the Encore Theater, partially replacing the time slots of the unexpectedly deceased Danny Gans.

For those that aren’t familiar with this resort, the Wynn and sister property, Encore, were built as the most opulent resorts in this town.  Steve Wynn, creator of the Bellagio, out did himself with two of the most luxuriously breathtaking resorts on the planet.  A collection of Michelin Star winning restaurants, world-class retail shops and luxury hotel suites with the finest appointments, both Wynn and Encore deserve every star, diamond and other accolade they have received.

These resorts were designed to attract the über-wealthy of the world.  People that will put millions on the table and not even bat an eye.  People that will spend thousands on a pair of shoes at the in-house Manolo Blahnik boutique, a sparkling diamond necklace at the in-house Cartier and a dress at the in-house Alexander McQueen shop, just to wear the outfit one time as they spend thousands more at the in-house nightclub, XS.

As the recession hit, prices were drastically reduced throughout the property.  The restaurants all cut their prices, but especially the room rates were significantly reduced.  The Wynn and Encore was no longer only accessible for the well-to-do.  What was once the playground for Edmond Champagne was now a nice day out for Joe Six-Pack.  Steve Wynn himself has been on the record saying the business his resorts are attracting are not what they were built for.

So how does Steve Wynn get his diamond out of the cow patty?  By signing Garth Brooks. (?!?!?!?!?) Don’t get me wrong, Garth Brooks headlining in Las Vegas will be a massive success…..but at the Wynn?!?  That’s like prominently displaying Dogs Playing Poker in the Louvre or the New York Philharmonic performing the celebrated works of John Tesh.  It’s just a big bowl of wrong.

With Citycenter’s Aria opening in mid-December along with the Crystals Retail and Entertainment District ahead of that, big competition is coming in the luxury resort market, and Wynn is going to have a shitkicker with a black cowboy hat as the face of his resort.  Bad idea, bad timing.

I can’t imagine a Garth Brooks residency complimenting the luxury brand of the Wynn.  This is a demographic target fail of epic proportions.  However, in the spirit of the Wynn Resort’s new direction, I would like to present some ideas for Mr. Wynn that will help tie in his new headliner with the rest of the resort:

• Encourage diners to throw peanut shells on the ground at Daniel Boulud
• Replace Manolo Blahnik with a Sheplers
• Install a mechanical bull in the High Limit Gaming Salon
• Have Chanel introduce a line of Designer Belt Buckles
• Expand the Esplanade to have the first Walmart to ever be attached to a Casino Resort
• Remove Baccarat pit in favor of more Penny Slot space
• SW Steakhouse to feature a “Fixin’s Bar”
• Redevelop Golf Course to be a Skeet Shooting Range / Paintball Course
• Beds in hotel rooms to be retrofitted with Vibrating Machines that run on quarters
• Lake of Dreams Light Show to now be a Dale Earnhardt Tribute Montage
• The scent that is piped in throughout the resort should be a combination of Old Spice and Pig Shit
• Fire Paul Bartolotta, remodel the space to put in a TGI Fridays and have Guy Fieri actually cook at it

Of course, this entire post will be retracted and Steve Wynn’s unconventional genius will be celebrated should Mr. Brooks employ a bass trombonist as part of his show.  Just sayin’.

A guy named Justin posts some hilarious quotes his dad says.  Few things brighten up my day like when a tweet comes in from @shitmydadsays.  Here are a few selections;

“Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don’t waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down.”

“I wanted to see Detroit win. I’ve been there. It’s like God took a shit on a parking lot. They deserve some good news.”

“I’m sitting in one of those TGI Friday’s places, and everyone looks like they want to shove a shotgun in their mouth.”

Hilarious!

2.) Dimitri Shostakovich Symphonies No. 1 & 7: Chicago Symphony Orchestra; Leonard Bernstein, conducting

Shostakovich’s 7th symphony, “Leningrad,” is one of my favorite pieces of music, and it is greatly due to this superb performance captured on this recording.  Few orchestral recordings capture the emotion and raw energy of a live performance like this does.  Combine that with the nearly flawless technical achievements, this recording is one of the best.  Ever.

3.) Mad Men

Holy shit!  Now I know what everyone is talking about!

We finally purchased the first two seasons off iTunes (the show is currently in its 3rd season on AMC) and it is incredibly addicting.  The development in this show is second to none, as just about every main character is an asshole you shouldn’t like, yet you are constantly gripped by what they’re going to do next.  Donald Draper, the main character is a scumbag.  Pete Campbell, the guy that is supposed to be a scumbag, is a scumbag.  Even Peggy Olsen, who was originally supposed to be the good person turns out to be a scumbag! (we’re just into the 2nd episode of the 2nd season….don’t know how everything else turns out)

By the way, AMC is knocking it out of the park with their original series as Breaking Bad, in my opinion, is the best drama on television since the early Sopranos.  Breaking Bad will get it’s own shout out once the new season starts…..but big props to AMC!

4.) The iPhone

The iPhone is the greatest personal use invention since man first used a rock to hit something.  I remember the days when I used to think, “Why the hell would anyone ever need a cell phone? ” Now I often wonder, “How the hell could I survive without my iPhone!”

Yes, AT&T is a big bag of rotting shit, but the iPhone itself transcends that bag and actually makes you tolerate AT&T so you can use it.  The apps on the iPhone make every day so much easier and so much more enjoyable.  If we’re sitting somewhere and wondering if there is a good movie we can see at the last minute, Flixter lets us know where to go.  If I have no clue where the hell a store is when I’m driving around, all I have to do is type that store’s name in the Maps app and the iPhone will give me turn by turn directions to the nearest one.

Whether it is tweeting where I’m at, reading #5 on this list or recording a quick memo of something for me to not forget, the iPhone is the world’s greatest personal assistant.

Oh yeah, and you can call people on it, too.

5.) The Huffington Post

One of the true pioneers in blogging, Arianna Huffington has put together one of the most important resources for anyone interested in politics, daily news and just general left wing progressive good times.  Not only does the Huffington Post have a fine collection of in-house bloggers, they also collect important stories from a wide variety of online media outlets.  In many ways, it is a liberal’s one-stop politics shop.

Now if only more people of the conservative mindset would spend more time on it………

Out of “The Pot Calling The Kettle Black” playbook of political debate, it seems the first thing to come out of a Conservative’s mouth these days in their objection to support our President is; “Stop drinking the Kool-Aid.”  Thanks to Jim Jones and a bunch of unsubstantive conservative sheep, yet another childhood memory is shit on.

What irks me the most about this plea for my progressive colleagues and I to stop showing support for our President and his policies, is that the “Kool-Aid” message is almost lost in the accompanying bullshit talking points from Rush and Rupert’s Minions. When I think about it, it’s just like how rotten meat may be obscured by the maggots feeding off it.  Stop drinking the Kool-Aid!!! ……….and think about ACORN, birth certificates, Reverend Wright, Bill Ayers, Unemployment, deficit, tax increase terrorist-sympathizing apologetic subservient Muslim socialistmarxistcommunistfascist……….blah blah blah blah fucking blah.  If Glenn Beck has faked some tears over it, the conservative sheep will fire it at us.

If Progressives are drinking Kool-Aid, then Conservatives are just drinking the shitty version of Kool-Aid.  Wyler’s.

Progressives have latched on to the hope of quality healthcare for all, the middle class being empowered once again, energy sources that don’t kill us, scientific advances to heal us, security through diplomacy and a free market system that isn’t free to steal our money…just to name a few.  In the fight against these ideals, Conservatives just make shit up and profess it as gospel.

We have gone far past the realm of opposing viewpoints. We have entered the land of Right and Wrong and Intelligent and Stupid.  I can understand conservatives opposing healthcare reform because of ideological issues, but what is inexcusable is to claim the other side supports Death Panels.  That’s when you go from a different viewpoint to being an ignorant moron.  I can also understand an ideological difference in apologizing for America’s past mistakes and commencing diplomatic activities with our “enemies.”  But, when you claim our President is a foreign-born Muslim terrorist sympathizer, you have gone from a different viewpoint to a fear-mongering, slanderous — and yes — racist scum of a human being.

I’m actually eager for a time when I can debate legitimate issues with conservative loyalists instead of chastising them for being ignorant morons.  Unfortunately I believe there is a divide in this country that is fast approaching irreparable.  This divide is not caused by opposing ideologies, it is caused by the chasm between Truth and Deception.

If believing the man an overwhelming majority of our nation elected as the Leader of the Free World is a decent man, one of intelligence, good morals and hope is “drinking Kool-Aid,” then so be it.  Fill up my glass, I’m thirsty.

I see The American Ego as the most severe cancer we have as a nation.  As complacency has decimated Detroit and our domestic auto industry, our “America is Unapologetically the Best” mentality is quickly eroding what little we have left.  The glaciers which melt from our dirty smokestacks move at a faster pace than which we approach Clean Energy reform.  Our blindness to our failing healthcare system has lead us to be 37th in the world.  Our assumption that Democracy is the only way a for a quality life grows our number of enemies everyday as we force our beliefs on every corner of the world. Our miserably failed belief that pure Capitalism is the best economic ideology has caused a global financial collapse never before seen.  Our education system cranks out a bunch of uncultured, morally void idiots destined to become Derivatives Traders and Big Pharma Lobbyists instead of Engineers and Scientists.

Our Ego was on prime display yet again as the American media and even the Chicago delegation assumed Chicago was a frontrunner. A quick visit by President Obama would “seal the deal.”  Then once we didn’t even make it past the first round, our Ego boiled with anger and disbelief.  How could cities like Tokyo, Madrid and eventual winner, Rio de Janeiro beat out America?   Just imagine if the 4th place runner of the 100m dash publicly displayed shock and disbelief of losing to the three medalists.  There would be outrage to the unsportsmanlike qualities of such an act.

The 2016 Olympics in Rio will mark the first time an Olympic Games will be held on the continent of South America.  Ever.  But Rio….really?  Rio?  I mean hell, do they even have running water down there? Doesn’t the International Olympic Committee know who we are?  We’re the United States of Motherfucking America! We don’t need no group of Eurotrash telling us what we can or can not do!  We’re the boss!  We’re the best!

Yes, the International Olympic Committee does know who we are. The United States of America has been host to the Olympic Games 8 times if you combine both Summer and Winter Games, which is more than any other nation.  Better than 1 out of every 6 Olympic Games has been held in the U.S.  You know who else we are? We’re the same country that just beat a boy to death and put it up on YouTube in the very city which we were pimping out to host some international water polo.  We’re the country with ignorant rednecks holding up signs of our President with Hitler mustaches scrawled across his face.  We’re the country that has single-handedly done more to cause international discord than any other nation since the real Hitler’s Germany.  Just like the song goes; America! Fuck yeah!

I’ve got some bad news, America…you might want to sit down for this one. We are not the best.  We are not the only shop in town. We are not the Alpha and Omega. The faster we get this message through the thick American skull, the faster we will commence the progress to obtain what we already blindly proclaim to be truth.  We are no better than the Islamic Theocracies, Communist Nations and the various other “oppressive dictatorships” we profess against.  As we are quickly finding out with Healthcare Reform, just because we had a vote, doesn’t mean we had a choice.  The pedestal which we place ourselves upon looks greatly like those we oppose, maybe just a different color and trim.  It is time to extricate ourselves from the infallibility of America and start making us what we think we are.

With that said, I can’t stress the importance of us hosting an Olympic Games right now, even if it would be a little over six years away.  How important is it for us to have an international image with Speedos and goggles on rather than camouflage and night vision?  It would be such a boon to have news footage of us with a javelin in our hands rather than an AK-47.  It’s long overdue for America to put the dick and balls back in our pants and put our heart and brain on display out for a while, but our disgraceful “yee-haw” mentality continues to eat away at progress with the mindblowingly Ignorant Partisanship coming from the right.

Are Republicans actually celebrating that we didn’t get selected for the Olympic Games?  Please tell me I’m not seeing this.  Republicans have childishly seized this moment to play more bullshit partisan politics.  A failure for America to win was a failure for Obama in their eyes.  I wish the ridiculousness of this idea was not even worthy of a mention, but it is a prime example of the dangerous game Republicans are now playing which is wanting Obama to fail over America getting a win.

As the American Ego sees Rio 2016 as a failure of America rather than a success of the other candidate, the Ignorant Partisanship latches on to the notion and tries to drag Obama down with the ship.  And I don’t want to hear any bullshit about how partisan politics always was and always will be.  This is different.  This is Partisan Politics 2.0.  The wingnuts have taken it to such an extreme that the benefit of the nation is no longer in their stream of thought, they are enraptured with the mission of seeing Obama fail.

As it is true with the Olympic Host City selection process, it is true with healthcare, clean energy, nuclear proliferation, economic policy and every other political talking point.  The Republicans simply don’t give a shit about anything being good, all they care about is Obama failing in whatever he wants.  If the Republicans actually did give a shit about the benefit of the nation, then they would offer viable alternatives to the policies Obama proposes.  Instead they say no, incite hatred, and blatantly make shit up to discredit the President’s opinion.  Americans are all for whatever is best for our country.  Over two thirds of those independently polled support a Public Option as part of Healthcare Reform, yet President Obama wants it so of course the Republicans must oppose it.

For more on what I call Ignorant Partisanship, please check out Paul Krugman‘s recent Op-Ed in the New York Times located at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/05/opinion/05krugman.html?_r=1&ref=opinion.  Krugman vocalizes my thoughts much more eloquently than I can.

If I still had any hope for our nation left, it would be this;  I hope that we can learn as a nation of diverse backgrounds, opinions and beliefs that we can learn to grow as one.  We can set aside ego to improve upon ourselves.  We can turn partisanship into a productive think tank for us to have solutions rather than just more problems.

A once relatively unknown man said this back in 2004;

It is that fundamental belief — I am my brother’s keeper, I am my sisters’ keeper — that makes this country work.  It’s what allows us to pursue our individual dreams, yet still come together as a single American family: “E pluribus unum,” out of many, one.

Now even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes.

Well, I say to them tonight, there’s not a liberal America and a conservative America; there’s the United States of America.

Even though some Terrorist-Sympathizing Kenyan Socialist Communist Fascist Muslim  that can’t even get the Olympic Games in his adopted cover of a hometown said it, it is time we ALL read it, and more importantly, learned from it.

And with that said…..  Behold!  My first set of Five Random Recommendations (not in any particular order)

1.) Curb Your Enthusiasm

The 7th season of Curb Your Enthusiasm has just begun, and based on the first episode, the 7th season has the potential to be the best one yet!  I can only someday hope to achieve the financial security where I can openly speak my mind like Larry David does on this show.  If you guys think what I allow to be in public is bad, you would faint over what I keep to myself.  Someday……someday…..

2.) The Italian Sausage at Whole Foods Market

I’m not sure if all Whole Foods Markets will have the same, I can only speak for the Italian Sausage (both the Hot and Sweet varieties) at the Green Valley Parkway location in Henderson, NV.  I am an avid fan of sausage, and the Italian Sausage at this Whole Foods is some of the best I have ever had.  It reminds me of what my parents would get from the Italian Meat Markets back in the solidly Italian neighborhoods Northeastern Pennsylvania.  I will do more research and find out if all Whole Foods Meat Departments use the same recipe.

3.) PeopleOfWalmart.com

If you ever wonder why the same people that protest Health Care for All somehow beam with pride as we invade and continually occupy a sovereign nation under false pretenses, this website should explain a lot of it.

4.) The Bellagio Fountains

After living here for five years, the Fountain Show in front of the Bellagio is still my favorite touristy sight to see in Las Vegas.  Usually number one on my list when people ask me what to do when they come here.

5.) Cottonelle Toilet Paper

I have been a loyal Cottonelle user for about the last 10 years or so.  During this time, I have thrown everything I could at it, and the patented ridges have always made me feel clean and refreshed.  It’s just the right thickness too.  Not thin so you think you’re wiping your ass with crepe paper, yet not so thick that it feels like you’re using a T-Shirt.  Cottonelle has also been a primary contributor to my underwear having a very high streak free percentage.  I use just regular Cottonelle, not Ultra or Aloe.

The Las Vegas Greek Food Festival was held on the beautiful and spacious grounds of the St. John the Baptist Greek Orthodox Church. And before anyone gets worried, I’m glad to report that the beautiful church is still standing, even with the fire and brimstone that goes along with my heathenistic presence.

From start to finish I was impressed with how well the festival is put together.  It’s almost like they did this before.  The free tram service from the free satellite parking lot was fast, efficient and easy to use.  Admission to the festival itself is a cheap $5, and getting in was no problem, even with a significant volume of people there.  The layout of the booths was perfect as it made for an almost overwhelmingly spacious common seating area in the middle.  You certainly don’t feel like a trapped rat like you do at the San Gennaro Festival, which ran concurrently to this ethnic food orgy.

There was a stage up front that featured bands as well as local youth Greek dance troupes.  I loved that the bands actually played authentic Greek music.  One of the things that pisses me off at ethnic festivals such as this, is when you have a relatively authentic band hacking their way through Mustang Sally or some other piece of wedding band bullshit.  The two bands we got to hear that were trading off throughout the night were The Greek Company and The Levendes. They both stuck to music of Greek region, and both did it quite well.  As a musician, I’m always in awe of ensembles staying together with the fascinating asymmetrical rhythmic meters that are the trademark of the music from this part of the world.

But now onto the star of the evening; The Food.  Greek food for me is one of those cuisines that there are a few traditional food items that I absolutely love, but then really dislike the majority of the cuisine.  I’m not a huge oregano fan, can’t stand food wrapped up in leafy greens and I’m a total picky bitch when it comes to the quality of lamb, so much of the food is lost on me.  However, I wouldn’t mind dying if I had cheese and phyllo dough in my mouth at the time, so it evens out.

First I started off with the Beef Souvlaki (beef cubes on a stick), and it was delicious.  Well seasoned, cooked about as good as you’re going to get at a fair and a healthy sized portion for the price.  I also got some Greek Fries which were seasoned french fries, along with the addition of lemon.  Very tasty.  After devouring plate number one with some Greek beer called Mythos, we then headed over to the “Specialties” tent where much of the damage was done.

Oh the plethora of choices at the Specialties tent.  On this trip, I sampled the Loukaniko, Pastitsio, Tiropita and Saganaki.  Out of the bunch, the Loukaniko, which is a sausage with orange zest, was the only thing I didn’t like….in fact…the only thing I didn’t like out of the entire evening.  Apparently orange zest doesn’t belong in sausage, because it gave it a funky, dare I say it, nearly spoiled kind of flavor.  Not good.  However, everything else was splendid.  The Pastitsio, which is a sort of Greek lasagna in that it has a layer of noodles, then ground beef, then more noodles, but then covered in a thick bechamel was good.  I guess I could have used a little more in the seasoning department with the bland flavors coming from the noodles and the bechamel, but it still managed to do the trick.  Tiropita is basically a Spanikopita minus the spinach, so just cheese and phyllo dough.  It made me smile.  The star of the evening however was the Saganaki, prepared to order with complimentary pyrotechnics display. Saganaki is a pan fried Kasseri cheese which then gets a splash of brandy, thus making the big flame as the finish.  Very tasty.

There was no rest for the weary after this gorging of delicious food as dessert was calling our name.  For dessert we sampled a traditional Baklava as well as a Chocolate Baklava, Diples (think cannoli without the good part), Loukomathes (think honey drenched donut holes) and the star of the dessert table, Bougatasa which is phyllo stuffed with custard.

After semi-recovering from the diabetic coma which ensued, we checked out the crafts and also went inside the beautiful church.  Hey…you can still appreciate something for its beauty even if you don’t buy into it.  The church was truly a sight to behold, architecturally and artistically.  Those crazy Greeks certainly built themselves a nice place to worship.

Overall, my first time at the Las Vegas Greek Food Festival was a beautiful experience, on a beautiful night in a beautiful setting.  No doubt I will go back next year.  I don’t think this post is complete without the obligatory “Opa!” in here somewhere.  So…Opa!

GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, GET IN LINE AND START MAKING THE CHANGE THE MAJORITY OF THIS COUNTRY VOTED FOR!!!!!

In case you haven’t gotten the memo, we voted in a President for you, we voted in a large majority in the House as well as a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.  For the love of the country, use the damn testicles we voted to give you and START USING THEM!

Unfuckingbelievable!  Yet another senseless delay and distraction comes in the way of the Healthcare Reform this country so desperately needs, and now it comes from a pandering to special interests, shitkicking DEMOCRAT from Montana!  I swear, the only person that can fuck up the recipe to make ice must be a Democrat.

The glorified piece of toilet paper the Honorable Senator Max Baucus put forth today cut Medicare by around $500B, removed the “Public Option” which has been so hotly debated, and then in the ultimate shit-for-brains move, STILL mandates everyone have health insurance complete with penalty of fines….yeah….without the Public Option and NOT mandating employers provide insurance.  Not surprisingly, the bill was presented today written in crayon and on construction paper.

Thankfully some decent colleagues of Baucus’, namely Sen. Jay Rockefeller of West Virginia (yes, the guy from fucking West Virginia has more common sense) and someone who I’m liking more and more each time I hear him speak, Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York (what a traumatic childhood he must have had).  The Baucus Shit on a Shingle Bill will obviously not pass in its current form, but more importantly it is making the Senate take its eye off the ball, it gives the GOP all sorts of talking points how the Dems can’t get their shit together and it further permeates this mostly unnecessary divide the Healthcare Reform debate is causing among American citizens.

I say there is an unnecessary divide, because the problem with the proposed bill from President Obama is not a policy problem, it is a communication problem.  If we said “Medicare for All” instead of “Single-Payer,” if we started attaching “Freedom” to “Public Option” and if somehow we could connect 9/11 to our current healthcare system, America would be well on its way, climbing up the ladder from our embarrassing 37th place ranking in the world on healthcare.

Senate and House Democrats, it is time to stop fixing the wrong problem with the wrong solution.  Get behind your quarterback and start figuring a way to get the President’s plan to sit well with your constituents.  Don’t waste our time with more horseshit like Max Baucus just did.  We know the Obama plan is the best solution to get us on the right track, now start communicating it.